Friday, 24 August 2012

A tribute to Loss

Its only after 4pm today that I realised Dad died 1 year ago today. I had a lot of thoughts racing through my head. I could continue in denial and go ahead with my planned plot, it was after all a Friday. Truth is, I really owed it to him to respect this day. To put off everything I wanted to do. To remember him for all the good..and bad things he did just to make me who I am today. I only realized all this when I sat down to think. He was a good man. Nobody could ever replace him. I didn't get the chance to put a Ritz on his grave again, like Mum did but I am deciding this moment to live up to the Man he groomed me to be. Everyone's fine here, Dad. Everyone's safe and healthy and yeah, we are all still in school. You have absolutely nothing to worry about, although am sure you already knew that. I know you are always stalking us from all the way up there. If we were all home, we would probably toast to you like you would have wanted. This is our  tribute to you. We still love you.
                      Rest in Peace!
           Father, Husband, Friend, Hero
        14th Feb 1952- 24th August 2011

Monday, 13 August 2012

No retreat, No surrender

So am back again's crazy, the only time I feel like blogging am usually pissed but I can't help it. What gives? Who knows ... Am pissed about a zillion things right now
Am pissed I didn't get the varsity course I wanted. Am pissed I didn't go to the university I wanted. Pissed that what used to be a home is only a house now. Am pissed Mother even thought up the idea of throwing me in a hall. give thrm an inch and they go in for the long haul. But wait. Lets pretend its still that time: when I am too young to decide; when I can't talk back to her; when I have no opinion; when... we can pretend a lot of things right now but the only thing I hate more than pretend games is Pretending. So I pinched myself and reality set in. I am definitely going to a hostel, I'll worry about how I feed, it's none of your business who I sleep with, whether I go to lectures or not. At this point, I basically almost want you out of my life. And no, you don't get to pull that line: " I just want the best for you". Its getting really old.
I could go on about everything am pissed about ...but even then, that wouldn't change a damn thing.
On the bright side, Campus(read: university) is starting soon. No curfew all. Fresher Bazaars, Meeting everyone from way back when..etc etc. Its going to be epic, I think. Finally, something to look forward to....